No one is perfect and, certainly, no relationship is perfect. However, some people find themselves making the same relationship mistakes over and over. As a result, their relationships are doomed to fail. The key to breaking this cycle is recognizing these common relationship mistakes and avoiding them in the future. Here are the top five relationship mistakes people make.
1. Any relationship is better than no relationship. Not true! Some people just don’t want to be alone. Or, some people will just “settle” until someone better comes along. Unfortunately, sometimes these relationships just float along and ultimately turn into a long-term relationship or marriage with one, or both, of the partners never really being happy with it. This relationship is simply doomed from the start. Everyone deserves to be happy and if you are going to be unhappy, you might as well be by yourself so you can control the circumstances and the outcome.
2. Believing in a fairy tale – the “perfect” relationship. There is no such thing. We are all flawed human beings in some way and that translates into flawed relationships. You need to work with and appreciate what you have instead of pining for what you don’t have. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a great relationship – you can. You just need to be realistic about what that means.
3. Trying to change your partner. This goes along with the above. No one is perfect – including yourself! If you spend all of your time trying to change someone, you will not appreciate what you have. Of course, you need to try to resolve conflicts and make your partner aware of behaviors that are causing problems. But, you cannot change basic personality traits or a belief system that the other person has spent a lifetime developing. Put yourself in their shoes – would you want to give up who you are for another person? More importantly, you are basically telling the person you supposedly love that they are not good enough for you. This will only foster resentment and unhappiness for both of you.
4. Spending too much or too little time together. In a new relationship, couples often make the mistake of thinking they have to spend every minute together. This is smothering and self-destructive. A relationship is about quality, not quantity. On the flip side, you do need to spend quality time together to get to know each other and nurture your relationship. If either one of you is not willing to do this, you need to accept that they are not as committed to this relationship as you are. Finding a good balance is essential to making your relationship last.
5. Failing to make sure you have the same goals, ideals or beliefs. This is one of the biggest relationship killers out there. You never discuss what you want out of life or how you believe a relationship should be conducted. Therefore, when you get to those big decisions, you have an insurmountable problem. Some people are just not compatible when it comes to their beliefs. For example, one person wants children and the other person doesn’t. Or, someone wants to live in Florida and the other person wants to stay near their family up north. These are major decisions in a relationship that may not be resolvable and only will cause heartache and pain down the road. Make sure you are both on the same page before you launch into a long-term relationship or marriage.
If you are looking for a stable and committed relationship, you need to avoid these common relationship mistakes. Being aware of them will help you avoid them in the future and will help you break the cycle of bad relationships.
Are you unhappy with your relationship or marriage or having trouble in your relationship?